This is so beautiful. I'm an only child and so terribly afraid of losing my mom, but the way you shared how your relationship with your mother transcended life was so profound and resonated deeply. She is in the clouds, as are the rest of the people we love. Bravo. Now let me find a tissue to wipe off my tears. Sending you love.
holy shit. this took the words out of my mouth. I lost my brother to addiction 3 years ago on my birthday. it hangs with me every day. I took on my parents pain bc I thought I wasn’t allowed to have my own. this brought me to tears and made me feel less alone. thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry this has all happened to you (or anyone relating to this now).
All happens to us for the better. We evolve and grow and actually choose this path for ourselves in order to do so. I am sending you a big squeeze, I hope you feel it ❤️
My mother passed 9 years ago, my brother: suddenly 4 years ago. I spent 8 years caring for my father who passed a year ago. When he went , I felt a whoosh through my heart that almost took me away. I’ve spent a year “fixing “ myself
My husband has a procedure in 2 weeks to check signs of cancer we’ve been waiting to reappear. His original cancer(I believe) was caused by the grief of his fathers suicide and mothers death very soon afterwards. I’ve spent the past 20 odd years helping him.
Just this morning I was telling myself I need to change the way I grieve . I’ve been thinking a lot recently about perspective and how our lives are just a flash in the timeline of the universe. Your note came at the perfect time. Reading your beautiful story has helped me with my own resolve to sort myself and live the best life I can while I have time , still holding them in my heart . Thank you 🙏
I lost my mom at 35 yo (she was sick 8 years) 6 days after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Your story really resonated with me and I’m glad that you are in a place that you are at peace with all you’ve been through. There is nothing like a mother’s love and you will carry that in your heart for the rest of your life. I’m here if you ever need an ear or a shoulder. 😘
Thank you Kelly and Julie for sharing your stories. My dad died of lung cancer when I was four months pregnant. At times it feels like it was all a horrible dream, too awful to be real, especially the end. And other days the piercing reality is overwhelming. Creating life while losing another… it’s hard to find words to explain this type of grief, but thank you both for opening up. I’m holding you and your sweet families in my heart.
IN AWE of your perspective, your strength and your willingness to share your humanity with others. You are an inspiration for many.
"This journey has been intensely challenging, yet profoundly human – continuously testing my resilience and capacity to grow. It has taught me that hardship is a universal experience, touching each of us in different ways throughout our lives. What defines our journey is not the challenges themselves but how we respond."
Kel...you were always special and one of my fan favorites. Stay strong beautiful...the journey ahead will be filled with love and awesome memories. Gary
Kelly, thank you for writing this - it was so beautiful, I felt heartfulness in every single word. Having someone pass away just recently, reading this was very timely, especially as the grief brought up a lot of fear around losing my own mum (single mother). Thank you for being so honest and open, to hear how someone has gone through this personally has given me a lot of faith and comfort, as I'm sure it has for others.
This was profound. Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful story. You wrote how I feel and felt. Not many people have that bandwidth as I found out after my older sister passed away a couple of years ago at 54. I moved in with her and her family before she died to help her. Life was never the same again. It was almost like I lived two separate lives - the first 50 years spiritually inclined but on auto pilot. After she died, dead inside then gradually awakened to a whole new world and self. My mom’s long-time partner died a year after my sister. He was a big part of my everyday life. You don’t realize how big until someone is gone sometimes. Thru his many weeks of out of state hospice, I was there to provide comfort, too. Having no idea what that might look or feel like. I never knew I could be such a caregiver. To my kids, sure. But this was different and I did what was needed and am so glad I did. I have spent two years + working thru feelings that are still very much coursing thru my veins and especially, my big heart. It closed for a while. I am so grateful my kids are older and I have had time to sit and feel it all. It’s the best therapy. Healing by feeling. I’m in such a better place in my own happiness. And yes, I talk to them all often. Especially the butterflies. My sister’s favorite thing. 🦋
I’m older so when I lost my parents within 7 years of each other it was hard but I was already at an age when it wasn’t unexpected. But when my brother died unexpectedly of a heart attack 9 months after my father, I lost it. Somehow I had assumed he’d be around forever. Although I do have a partner, I don’t have children so sometimes I feel unanchored without him. I wish you all the best.
I totally understand this. I have a loving partner too but without kids and parents it’s hard. Really hard. If you ever want to talk I’m here.. seriously. This is all new and horrible to me, so I’m happy to connect or get a coffee if you live in the nyc area. Sometimes I feel like I lay it all on my bf, and although he is supportive sometimes it’s good to connect to other people you don’t have to pay lol 😂( therapist) Stay strong 💪. I hope your partner treats you like a queen!
This was so beautiful to read and truly resonates. My mother suddenly passed when I was just 16 years old and It wrecked me to the core. Now at 34, my dad is slipping away from cancer. The old wound of my mother’s loss is slowly but surely unraveling all over again. I am trying to prepare myself this time, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Thank you for sharing this. We are never alone in loss, even though it is the loneliest space to live in.
I read this in the exact moment that I needed it. My mother has metastatic breast cancer and trying to soak up every minute we have together and fighting so hard for her has given me so much purpose but has also given me such anxiety about what life will be like after. Your essay resonated so much with me and gives me hope. ❤️ thank you for sharing ❤️
This is so beautiful. Thank you for spilling your heart and sharing with the world. You are helping others in such a beautiful way by sharing your story. ❤️❤️
Thank you for this. My baby brother passed away on December 20th 2023, and I have been so focused on my mom who has stage three ovarian cancer and her grief, well also trying to find a way to heal myself. Thank you for being so open about your loss and all the sources that help you through your grief and how you found your authentic self.
thank you for this! I have been dealing with grief since I was a kid myself and pieces like this remind me that I’m not actually alone in any of this ♥️
Oh wow Kelly this is so heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing I could not read this quick enough. I had a life long fear of losing my dad and then it happened. I wrote about it here last month
Thank you for sharing grace. I’m sending you so much love. We’re really all in this together
You got this Kelly 🧡🧡
WE got this
This is so beautiful. I'm an only child and so terribly afraid of losing my mom, but the way you shared how your relationship with your mother transcended life was so profound and resonated deeply. She is in the clouds, as are the rest of the people we love. Bravo. Now let me find a tissue to wipe off my tears. Sending you love.
🫂
holy shit. this took the words out of my mouth. I lost my brother to addiction 3 years ago on my birthday. it hangs with me every day. I took on my parents pain bc I thought I wasn’t allowed to have my own. this brought me to tears and made me feel less alone. thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry this has all happened to you (or anyone relating to this now).
All happens to us for the better. We evolve and grow and actually choose this path for ourselves in order to do so. I am sending you a big squeeze, I hope you feel it ❤️
My mother passed 9 years ago, my brother: suddenly 4 years ago. I spent 8 years caring for my father who passed a year ago. When he went , I felt a whoosh through my heart that almost took me away. I’ve spent a year “fixing “ myself
My husband has a procedure in 2 weeks to check signs of cancer we’ve been waiting to reappear. His original cancer(I believe) was caused by the grief of his fathers suicide and mothers death very soon afterwards. I’ve spent the past 20 odd years helping him.
Just this morning I was telling myself I need to change the way I grieve . I’ve been thinking a lot recently about perspective and how our lives are just a flash in the timeline of the universe. Your note came at the perfect time. Reading your beautiful story has helped me with my own resolve to sort myself and live the best life I can while I have time , still holding them in my heart . Thank you 🙏
I lost my mom at 35 yo (she was sick 8 years) 6 days after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Your story really resonated with me and I’m glad that you are in a place that you are at peace with all you’ve been through. There is nothing like a mother’s love and you will carry that in your heart for the rest of your life. I’m here if you ever need an ear or a shoulder. 😘
As am I ❤️
Thank you Kelly and Julie for sharing your stories. My dad died of lung cancer when I was four months pregnant. At times it feels like it was all a horrible dream, too awful to be real, especially the end. And other days the piercing reality is overwhelming. Creating life while losing another… it’s hard to find words to explain this type of grief, but thank you both for opening up. I’m holding you and your sweet families in my heart.
IN AWE of your perspective, your strength and your willingness to share your humanity with others. You are an inspiration for many.
"This journey has been intensely challenging, yet profoundly human – continuously testing my resilience and capacity to grow. It has taught me that hardship is a universal experience, touching each of us in different ways throughout our lives. What defines our journey is not the challenges themselves but how we respond."
Thank you 🙏
Yes 🧡
Kel...you were always special and one of my fan favorites. Stay strong beautiful...the journey ahead will be filled with love and awesome memories. Gary
Gary! Thank you 🙏 I’ll always been a fan of you and your whole beautiful family
Kelly, thank you for writing this - it was so beautiful, I felt heartfulness in every single word. Having someone pass away just recently, reading this was very timely, especially as the grief brought up a lot of fear around losing my own mum (single mother). Thank you for being so honest and open, to hear how someone has gone through this personally has given me a lot of faith and comfort, as I'm sure it has for others.
This was profound. Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful story. You wrote how I feel and felt. Not many people have that bandwidth as I found out after my older sister passed away a couple of years ago at 54. I moved in with her and her family before she died to help her. Life was never the same again. It was almost like I lived two separate lives - the first 50 years spiritually inclined but on auto pilot. After she died, dead inside then gradually awakened to a whole new world and self. My mom’s long-time partner died a year after my sister. He was a big part of my everyday life. You don’t realize how big until someone is gone sometimes. Thru his many weeks of out of state hospice, I was there to provide comfort, too. Having no idea what that might look or feel like. I never knew I could be such a caregiver. To my kids, sure. But this was different and I did what was needed and am so glad I did. I have spent two years + working thru feelings that are still very much coursing thru my veins and especially, my big heart. It closed for a while. I am so grateful my kids are older and I have had time to sit and feel it all. It’s the best therapy. Healing by feeling. I’m in such a better place in my own happiness. And yes, I talk to them all often. Especially the butterflies. My sister’s favorite thing. 🦋
I’m older so when I lost my parents within 7 years of each other it was hard but I was already at an age when it wasn’t unexpected. But when my brother died unexpectedly of a heart attack 9 months after my father, I lost it. Somehow I had assumed he’d be around forever. Although I do have a partner, I don’t have children so sometimes I feel unanchored without him. I wish you all the best.
I totally understand this. I have a loving partner too but without kids and parents it’s hard. Really hard. If you ever want to talk I’m here.. seriously. This is all new and horrible to me, so I’m happy to connect or get a coffee if you live in the nyc area. Sometimes I feel like I lay it all on my bf, and although he is supportive sometimes it’s good to connect to other people you don’t have to pay lol 😂( therapist) Stay strong 💪. I hope your partner treats you like a queen!
This was so beautiful to read and truly resonates. My mother suddenly passed when I was just 16 years old and It wrecked me to the core. Now at 34, my dad is slipping away from cancer. The old wound of my mother’s loss is slowly but surely unraveling all over again. I am trying to prepare myself this time, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Thank you for sharing this. We are never alone in loss, even though it is the loneliest space to live in.
I read this in the exact moment that I needed it. My mother has metastatic breast cancer and trying to soak up every minute we have together and fighting so hard for her has given me so much purpose but has also given me such anxiety about what life will be like after. Your essay resonated so much with me and gives me hope. ❤️ thank you for sharing ❤️
This is so beautiful. Thank you for spilling your heart and sharing with the world. You are helping others in such a beautiful way by sharing your story. ❤️❤️
Thank you for this. My baby brother passed away on December 20th 2023, and I have been so focused on my mom who has stage three ovarian cancer and her grief, well also trying to find a way to heal myself. Thank you for being so open about your loss and all the sources that help you through your grief and how you found your authentic self.
thank you for this! I have been dealing with grief since I was a kid myself and pieces like this remind me that I’m not actually alone in any of this ♥️
No words just so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. 💜🙏
Oh wow Kelly this is so heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing I could not read this quick enough. I had a life long fear of losing my dad and then it happened. I wrote about it here last month
https://open.substack.com/pub/gemmaspeakman/p/theatrical-silence-chatter-resumes?r=1gw3lp&utm_medium=ios